Doubt

Earthstar

 

Doubt is like the weather, it can squash plans in the matter of minutes if you let it. Have you ever been all set to have a picnic at the beach with the kids, gotten everyone all packed up and ready to go and looked outside only to have it thundering down golf ball sized hail? Then what? Throw in the towel, stay home, wait it out? Go anyhow, kids never really care about the weather do they? Well mine don’t but it’s usually me who doesn’t fancy sitting out in the cold.

Doubt is the same as that hail storm, driving the spirit back into submission. For example, say you go to a seminar, conference or class, where you hear the most inspiring words of your adult life. You float out of there, about six feet off the ground, head in the clouds planning all the amazing things you are going to do with your life. And then you head home and try and explain all the cool stuff you learned to your skeptical family or friends. You defend your point of view perfectly, no one can take this away from you, they just don’t get it. Thank God you get it, no wonder there are so many issues in the world, and here you are so ready to take them on. For a week, or a month, well, definitely three days or so…. and then this sneaky feeling squeezes up on you.

It’s kind of like coming down with a cold, for the first couple of days you aren’t really sure, but you know you feel kind of off. A little achy, head hurts, neck may feel a little stiff. Doubt is like that, a little here and there, very innocuous, very subtle you can hardly even tell it’s there. Then you catch it, a little voice in your head as you open your new Save the World Facebook page tells you that probably no one will Like your page anyhow, is it really worth all this work? Then you realize that if you work on your webpage tonight you will miss Top Chef. Well, not a really big deal if no one really seems on board anyhow.

Friends and family breath sighs of relief, thank god this latest storm seems to have passed. You have landed firmly back on planet Earth.

But what about you? What about all those plans? What about your vision board? Where is the motivation to follow that massive hit of inspiration? There is a fork in the road. Which way will you go?

Follow the low road? It feels so familiar…. been down there so many times you know it like the back of your hand, and there is something so secure and safe about knowing where you are headed. The low road meanders around in a big, lazy, loopy circle right back to where you started, you have been there countless times.

The high road looks kind of intimidating. It starts with a big steep hill and you can’t even see the top from where you stand. What if it’s too hard? What if you climb up all that way and then fall off or get lost or end up on the wrong path? You stand pondering the roads, feeling the pull of that old familiar route. Plus, that’s the way most of the people you know follow.

Then, before you know what you are doing, you take off at a full run, straight up hill, leaving the low road in the dust. Your heart is pounding, all your senses are on high alert, you are in disbelief that you actually had the guts to get up the nerve to even try it. You keep going up and up and up and you are passing waterfalls, old growth trees and ferns up to your waist. The road gets narrower but you just keep going, an audience of amazed wildlife cheering you on. You get out your machete and start bush whacking, no one has ever made it this far before, or at least not for a very long time. Finally, you slow down a little, feeling committed to your journey you start to look around you, enjoying every challenging step. You push through to a clearing and stop, stunned at how far you have made it.

You are at the top of the world, you can see everything from here. You suddenly understand your purpose. To help other people find their way up here. You can feel the abundance, you can sense the Universe gazing down on you benevolently silently offering you all the help you are willing to receive.

Then you realize your journey has just begun.

Namaste

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