Daily Angel Oracle Card: Nine Of Swords, from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm, by Julia Jeffrey and Barbara Moore
“She has been running and fighting for so long that she has forgotten what it is like to be still. Even though it is over, she cannot relax. She crouches, ready to spring into action if necessary. How long has she been here? She wonders. Long enough that her body is no longer racked with heaving gasps, her lungs struggling to take in more air. Her muscles, while still tense, are no longer quivering.
As her heart and mind slow, she feels the night air warm on her skin, still damp from sweat. The night is passing; soon it will be dawn. Now that exhaustion is starting to fall from her, she faces a decision: what to do next. It seems so simple, so why does it feel like another battle? What is she afraid of? After all she has seen, all she has lived through, deciding what to do now that it is over should be easy.
An owl lands nearby, apparently unafraid, feathers dropping from his silent wings. She watches him without moving even as downy soft whispers brush her skin, falling like the tears she cannot yet release. He stays with her until all that she has seen, all that she has lived through, is relieve through the eyes of compassion and wisdom.”
Divinatory Meaning of the Nine Of Swords Card: “It has been a tough time. You have faced some challenges and made some difficult decisions. The good news is that the Nine Of Swords indicates that this phase is at an end, or very nearly so. Your current task is to wrap things up. Some people make the mistake of reliving such times over and over, watching the tapes with regret, bitterness, or anger. In order to move forward, you need to relive the situation one last time through the eyes of compassion… for yourself and for everyone else involved. Learn the lessons embedded in the experience. Recognize the wisdom gained. Then you can truly move forward.”*
~ By Julia Jeffrey and Barbara Moore
This card made my heart ache as I read its message. It resonates so deeply. I understand the feeling so well; that of struggling for so long that once you realize that the struggle is over, you are like a deer in the headlights, unable to decide which way to go. Longing for freedom and then once getting it, not knowing what to do with it all. Trading one set of issues for another. Focusing so much energy on a person or problem, that once they walk away you forget who you were without that stress.
It takes time. It takes healing. It takes compassion. To move forward into the new. At first you think it will be so easy, that you will grasp every opportunity, that you will be joyful and appreciate your freedom. But yet there you are, stuck, frozen, unsure of what to do next.
All you can do is breathe. Trust. Do a whole lot of yoga! And know that this too, shall pass. And that you will get stronger. And you will start walking through those open doors. And that everything is as it should be.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, you got this far. There was a time when where you are now may not have even seemed possible. But it is. You are here. And it is going to get so much better.