Impulsive Puppy Doesn’t Have to Mean ADD/ADHD:

Sometimes I wonder what we are really doing to our kids when we send them to school. For the most part it’s all about teaching them how to function in society, how to make and maintain social connections, oh, and the education part of course, how to read and write, math, science etc, but of course that last part can all be learned online in this day and age.

What about when it back fires? What about bullying, the plague of the 21st century, which can psychologically damage a human being for the rest of their life if it’s not dealt with. What about not fitting in and having them crying every night starting in Kindergarten and grade one when the other girls won’t let them in the club that day? What impact does it have on the kids when they can’t afford a sport, designer outfit or electronic device that all the other kids have?

Or, what if there is a problem with the teacher? Who’s at fault, the child who won’t conform at 5 years old or the teacher who has to put up with him disrupting her class? Then what? How do you give your child the very best start in life when you have to ask them to completely compromise their uniqueness in order to fit in? Believe me I wish I knew the answer, it’s one that keeps me up at night. I had big hopes that it would all work itself out, that somehow everyone would just get along! I waited until Christmas break, then thought “well, we have a whole two weeks to get this sorted out, maybe after that it will get better”. Of course it was worse as the fleeting taste of freedom was dashed away, back to the tedious routine. Spring break was the next light at the end of the tunnel, same thing, great break from the routine and then an even worse re-entry into the land of sitting still, being quiet and doing what you are told.

Now here we are, experimenting with non gluten, non dairy diets, no sugar, no food colouring (which I have done for years) to see if it will make any difference. But as I try to gently shape my son’s square edges into round ones, I often wonder if I am doing him any favours in the long run. I realize that I haven’t given much information here but I am not talking about any kind of autism, or diagnosable illness or ADD, ADHD etc, I’m talking about a bright, capable kid who decided 30min into the very first day of Kindergarten that it just wasn’t his thing. That even thought he’s a keen learner and has no problems with letters, shapes, numbers or colours, he’d just way rather be doing something other than what the teacher wants him to do at any particular moment. Preferably something more interesting or exciting. Which is a hard thing for two working, self employed, parents to deal with. I would love to look at private school, but we are in the process of accumulating our financial freedom, so hundreds or thousands a month isn’t viable at this time.

I don’t want to say that I’m burying my head in the sand, but at the same time I so spend a lot of time praying that it’s going to get better. Then comes the paradox. Part of me just wants him to  learn the rules and play by them, we can live out of the box at home. The other part of me wishes he could just be himself and wonders if he will spend the rest of his life trying to find his way back to this strong willed little boy. I want to celebrate this amazing little human being who is so strong willed and fearless.

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, there is no doubt in my mind about this. Making decisions that can affect the people you love for the rest of their lives is a huge responsibility. I wouldn’t trade it, I just want to make sure I’m doing the best I can, and sometimes getting it out there puts it all in perspective. I love my Impulsive Puppy.

Namaste